How Love Happens - Chapter 25

 

On Friday morning, everyone prepared to take Aish to the airport. Haifa helped Aish pack her bags, feeling a sudden sadness at the prospect of seeing her friend leave. Even though Aish had only come for a week, it felt sad to see her go. At the airport, everyone appeared somber about her departure. In just a few days, Aish had managed to leave a lasting impact on each of them.

After dropping off Aish, they returned home. Haifa went to her room to work on her project, realizing that she had neglected it, partly due to her fight with Aseel and partly because she wanted to spend time with Aish. The workload had piled up, and she needed to organize and sort through the footage before heading out for the drone shoot. This would give her a clear understanding of what she wanted to capture.

She responded to Aseel’s messages with few words, surprised at her own calmness. Normally, fights with Aseel would plunge her into a vortex of depression. She would blame herself, dissect every word he said, and try to analyze where she had gone wrong. The usual pattern involved incessant texting, calls, and cyberstalking. While at the same time agonizing herself with self-doubt, depression, and anxiety.

This time, however, felt different. Haifa sensed a change within herself. She didn't like the person she became when Aseel unsettled her. She had always imagined herself as a calm and reasonable woman, but when things went awry with Aseel, she transformed into an unbalanced version of herself that she despised. Deep-seated insecurities and fears would surface, pushing her off course before she could take a breath. This time, she was determined to break free from that pattern.

Haifa began to acknowledge the side of Aseel that her mother had warned her about. Reluctantly, she started recognizing Aseel's toxic behavior and how she had allowed him to mistreat her. With this awareness, Haifa decided that she would no longer be that person. She refused to mold herself into someone perfect for Aseel, accommodating his desires.

In the past, she had faked a version of a self-confident girl who lived in the moment and had no problem with living a completely different life from him. Now, she was determined to break free from that pattern and own her true self. She had her insecurities and she wanted to be part of his life. She wanted to be an equal partner in his life and wanted them to discuss and decide things between themselves.

Haifa knew Aseel was a good man and had the potential to be more caring, he might not even be aware of his toxic behavior. She had decided to have a sincere conversation with him when he returned, explaining how he was treating her and expressing her feelings. She hoped that by talking and listening to each other, they could build a more meaningful relationship. Haifa was certain that not every relationship was perfect from the start; it was the ones that grew with love and patience that endured the longest.

She finished her work by evening and spent the rest of the day with her family. She sat in the living room with her mamma next to her watching the local channel. She took a deep breath. "I've decided not to go to Male' right now," she began. "I'm using the money I took from you to schedule a drone shoot. I promise to pay it back as soon as I get paid at the end of the month," Haifa explained.

Nasreena looked at her daughter, realizing that she was reaching out to her. Her happiness was plain as she replied, "Don't worry about it," her mamma said hurriedly. "How is it going with that?" she asked.

Haifa looked at her mother, wondering if she was genuinely interested. "It's going really well," she replied.

"That's good. I am really proud of you for how hard you are working towards your dream," she said.

"Really?" Haifa asked hopefully, realizing in that moment how important her mother's approval was to her.

"Of course. You are following your dream, and nothing makes me happier than seeing you strive for something worthwhile," her mother replied. "I've seen the passion you have for photography, and I never doubted that you could make a career out of it."

"But you said it was just a hobby," Haifa asked curiously.

Her mother laughed, "Yes, I did. I'm sorry. I was desperate for you to have something to do here in Vavathi. I had no idea there would be such good opportunities in photography here. I was worried you might not come," she confessed.

Haifa smiled, “It was really important for you to bring me here, wasn’t it?” she asked teasingly.

Her mother smiled sheepishly, “Yes. It’s not really that bad here, is it?” she asked worriedly.

Haifa took her mother’s hand in hers, “No, mamma. It's not bad here at all. I am grateful you brought me here, and I've built relationships with so many wonderful people.” She replied softly, nodding towards Saira and Afa sitting on the floor playing cards. “But I also haven't changed my mind about going back to Male’. Can you understand that?” she asked quietly.

Her mother did not comment but nodded.

Out of nowhere, Haifa felt like her relationship with her mother was suddenly mending. It was as if the distance between them was merely the shadow of her obsession with Aseel. Haifa felt like they were back to normal, and the warmth of being able to talk to her mother like old times enveloped her. She realized she had been so caught up in the chaos of her life that she had forgotten what it was like with her mother. Her mamma was always there for her, and they used to talk and share their lives together. Haifa had no idea how much she had missed her mamma.

***

Haifa sat in her room a little after nine in the night. She had messaged Aseel that she wanted to talk to him, and he had said he would call. She waited patiently. When the phone rang, she looked at the display in surprise – he was video-calling her. Almost jumping with joy, she answered.

“Hello,” Aseel said, lying on his bed. “Did you miss me?” he asked smugly.

Haifa felt a slight uneasiness with his expression but waved it away. “Hi, how have you been?” she asked brightly. “You didn’t have plans for the night?”

He slid one hand under his head. “No, we have planned an early trip in the morning, so decided to rest,” he said. “What were you going to talk about?” he asked, getting straight to the point.

Haifa thought for a moment. It was weird that he had responded to her message about wanting to talk to him. Had he anticipated her discussing something specific? She had repeatedly messaged him, apologizing and expressing her desire to talk and make up, but all those messages were left unanswered. However, when she mentioned needing to talk to him in the morning, he suddenly had the time to FaceTime her.

“I wanted to talk about us, to apologize for everything. I wanted to ensure that we are okay,” she replied carefully.

She noticed a slight shift in Aseel’s expression as if he was disappointed. Was he hoping she wanted to talk about something else?

“It's fine,” he replied curtly. “I had to go abroad to blow off some steam. Now I feel much better,” he continued.

Haifa nodded, contemplating his words. Was he disappointed that she hadn’t asked him about the sudden trip, or was he expecting her to bring up the topic of Rizu? She blinked, realization finally hitting her.

He did want her to know about his trip when he posted on social media. Was he also hoping she saw Rizu’s comment and replied to it? Did he purposefully leave her messages unanswered to punish her for seeing Zishan? To play with her emotions?

“Anyway, Aish left in the morning. I have scheduled a drone shoot for next week,” Haifa continued, watching his expression very carefully. The more she talked about her work, the more bored he seemed to look. At the same time, she felt like he was waiting for something.

“That’s it? That’s all you wanted to talk about?” he asked after a while, now showing irritation.

Haifa knew instantly she was right. He was hoping for her to ask him about it, to cry and ask why he was doing it to her. He was expecting her to feel devastated that he left without a word, to go red with jealousy over having contact with Rizu.

She felt anger surge inside her, gritting her teeth. She would not break down in front of him, nor would she fall into his trap. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Haifa reminded herself that she wanted to talk to him calmly.

“Aseel, I think our relationship is facing challenges because we have different goals for ourselves,” she said. Aseel gave her a hard look, and her heart pounded as she continued, “You've been keeping me away from your family and friends because you don't see a future for us. You've explicitly said you don't want to get married.”

He asked mockingly, “And you have a solution?”

Taking a deep breath, she responded, “Not a solution, but a remedy. If we talk about what we want with each other, I think it's better for us. I've been okay with the arrangement so far, but I find myself more frustrated every day because I have to pretend I'm fine with it. I love you, and I want to be part of your life. I want to know your family and friends. I want to discuss building a life together because I want to be married one day.”

“You've come to all these realizations since you moved to the island, haven't you?” he asked. She looked confused, and he continued, “You're having all these realizations since you met Zishan?” he stated more than asked.

Haifa opened her mouth, not sure how to respond. She closed it without saying anything. Aseel continued lazily, “Tell me you haven’t seen him after our last fight,” he asked.

“I have seen him,” she answered honestly, wondering where he was going with this.

“Then tell me you have no plans to see him again,” he questioned.

Haifa pressed her lips together, feeling her face warm up.

“You forget I know you, Haifa. You're not fooling anyone,” he laughed.

“He's not like that. I've told you he's helped me many times. I wanted to help him too,” she replied defensively.

“Men do not help women out for no reason. He wants you,” Aseel sneered.

“It doesn’t matter what he wants. I am with you,” she replied. Haifa knew Zishan had feelings for her, but she also believed he was helping her because he genuinely cared about her as a friend.

Aseel looked at her challengingly, “But you cannot let him go, can you? If I ask you to choose between us, who would you choose?” he asked.

Haifa felt her heart beating faster with every word he said. How did he do that? He was the one who left without telling her, he was the one talking to the girl he had promised he wouldn't. Yet there she was once again, feeling like she was the one in the wrong. Was this what Aish was warning her about? Was this how gaslighting worked?

Haifa felt anger boil inside her. She clenched her hands together, desperately trying to control the rising rage. Fearful that she might say something irreparable, she held back, realizing their relationship was already strained, hanging on its last thread. When she finally spoke, she chose her words carefully.

“I have told you he is a friend, and I have already told him that I will help him. I think you should respect me enough to let me choose who I will be friends with and what I do for them. As my boyfriend, it's absurd for you to assume I will be cheating on you. I have never shown you anything that would make you distrust me for a single moment.”

Aseel simply stared at her, his usual confidence momentarily shaken by her boldness. "Right now, it feels like we're in a power struggle. You're doing things to hurt me, and I'm trying to avoid retaliating. Our relationship is not heading in the right direction. We should be supporting and loving each other, not engaging in constant battles. I believe it's best for both of us to take some time to reflect on our relationship and revisit this discussion later." 

Aseel narrowed his eyes, still processing the sudden change in her demeanor. "Fine, then. Have a good night." 

"Goodnight," she replied, her voice steady, though the tension lingered in the air.

Once she ended the call, Haifa took a deep breath, feeling as though she had been holding it for the entire last part of their conversation. A sense of unbelievable relief washed over her as if a massive tension had been lifted by baring her true feelings.

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