How Love Happens - Chapter 38

 

The subsequent days proved to be excruciating for Haifa. The breakup with Zishan inflicted the worst emotional pain she had ever known. Countless heart-wrenching cries tore through her, leaving her eyes perpetually watery. No matter her efforts, the tears persisted. Her whole character was withdrawn and miserable.

Her family remained oblivious to the true source of her despair. They assumed her grief stemmed from the loss of a competition she had held high hopes for. Haifa refrained from sharing what really happened, she needed time. Consumed by the agony of her own shattered heart, she couldn't spare the emotional bandwidth to address the concerns of others. They even assumed Zishan's absence was merely due to his busy training schedule.

In truth, Haifa felt a sense of relief that her family remained unaware of her inner turmoil. Each day, she woke up hoping it was just a bad dream, a slight easing of the immense pain she carried. Yet, nothing changed. The solitude persisted, and Zishan, true to his word, kept his distance. He had taken such a huge chunk of her with him, leaving her feeling empty and hollow.

Despite the overwhelming desire to reach out to him, guilt held her back. She knew the inevitable departure still loomed, and any attempt at reconciliation would only offer temporary solace, potentially causing more pain in the long run. Yet, the longing to hear his voice, to hold him once more, to express the depth of her love, weighed heavily on her. At times, the pain became so intense that it felt like she was gasping for breath.

Three days later, the company sent Haifa the contracts and job details. Numb, she went through the paperwork, entertaining thoughts of turning the offer down. However, an invisible force held her back. Deep down, she acknowledged the depth of her love for Zishan and the prospect of forever wondering about the life she might have had haunted her. She realized that she could never find contentment if she let this opportunity slip away. Her dreams of an extraordinary life beckoned, and the thought of letting them vanish left her feeling lost.

“Turquoise Tourism Company offered me a job,” Haifa announced at the breakfast table the next morning.

Everyone stopped mid-way in whatever they were doing, turning their attention to her.

“You mean the company that conducted the competition you participated in?” Saira asked.

Haifa nodded, “Yes.”

“Ifa, that’s great,” her aunt smiled at her.

But Haifa’s focus was on her mother’s face, and Nasreena immediately understood what she meant, trying to come to terms with her daughter’s news.

“I accepted the offer. They sent me the contract yesterday, and I am due to start in two to three weeks,” she said.

Her stepfather also watched her mother’s expression carefully before commenting, “It’s a big company, and it would be a great experience for your career. I believe their pay is also quite good,” he said.

“Yes, they have offered a good package, including living expenses,” Haifa said tentatively.

Rugiyya looked at her confused, “Living expenses? Why would they offer that?” she asked.

“Because the job is in Male’,” her mother stated simply, her eyes holding a hint of sadness. “You always wanted to move back to Male’,” she said softly.

Saira and Afa's faces jerked towards her, “Male’?” Saira asked, “You are leaving us?”

Haifa took a deep breath, “Yes.”

"What do you mean she wants to move back? I thought you both came here to start fresh," her aunt inquired, clearly struggling to grasp the situation.

"I came for a fresh start; Ifa never wanted to leave," her mother replied with a hint of sadness.

"But you've been here for so long. Don't you like it here?" Afa questioned, wearing a scowl.

Haifa looked at her young cousin, attempting to make her understand. "It's not like that. Of course, I love it here. But it's a good opportunity," she explained.

"That's why you worked so hard to win the competition, so you could move back," Saira mused aloud. The realization hit her, and she uttered, "All this time," in a barely audible tone.

Haifa swallowed hard, meeting the betrayed look in Saira's eyes. She knew instantly that she had lost someone dear to her, a rupture in trust she had never intended to create. They had given her so much without asking for anything in return, and she had inadvertently done the exact opposite.

The breakfast table fell into an eerie silence after that revelation. It seemed like everyone wanted to ask more but was unsure of how to broach the subject. Haifa discreetly glanced at her mother and Saira, anticipating their reactions. Even the usually talkative Afa had fallen inexplicably mute.

Unable to endure the heavy atmosphere, Haifa hastily excused herself. The silence echoed loudly in her ears, and the visible hurt on their faces weighed heavily on her. At that moment, she realized the profound impact these people had on her life.

Haifa entered her room and reached for the empty suitcases perched atop the wardrobe. The need to stay occupied gnawed at her, a desperate attempt to distract herself from the guilt of hurting so many people simultaneously. The weight of that guilt made her feel unwelcome as if everyone had turned their backs on her. Tears streamed down involuntarily as she plucked clothes from hangers and scattered them on the bed. Even when a soft knock followed by footsteps entered her room, she didn't turn to acknowledge it.

“Are you here to ask me to stay?” Haifa asked, her eyes still puffy. She mechanically folded her clothes.

Nasreena quietly walked up to her daughter and held her arm, “No. I have learned my lesson. I once tried to meddle in your life, and I almost lost you,” she said.

“You could never lose me,” Haifa told her mother.

Nasreena’s bottom lip trembled, “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was devastated when I heard you cry every night when Aseel cheated on you. And when you got back together with him, I vowed to myself I would never let him or anyone hurt you again,” she said as she cupped Haifa’s face, “But I was wrong. You have grown up, and I had to let you make your life decisions. Even if it's right or wrong. You are still my little baby and always will be,” she told her.

Haifa’s tears began to fall, and her body trembled with sobs. Her mother took her into her arms and held her tight. “Do you think I am wrong to leave?” she asked tearfully.

“If your heart says this is something you have to do, follow your heart,” her mother said as she caressed her hair. “I know how much you love him. I know you both will find your way back to each other once again.”

Haifa shook her head as her sobs increased.

***

Haifa informed her employer immediately that she wanted to quit, and within a day or two, they finished the paperwork and finalized the pay for the days she had worked in the month. When she entered the boss's cabin to settle everything, she found Lamya alone, wearing a smirk as she handed over Haifa's remaining pay.

"I didn't think losing the competition would make you such a sour loser. Couldn't even bear to live on the same island?" Lamya sneered.

Haifa looked at her with surprise. She did not recall explicitly mentioning that she was quitting the job because she was leaving the island; she just said it was for personal reasons. However, it seemed the news had already spread across the island.

"Yeah, we all know you're moving back to where you came from. I think you're doing us a favor; we've endured you long enough here," Lamya stated.

Anger surged within Haifa. It was the first time she had engaged with Lamya since the event, and initially, she felt the urge to retaliate. However, something shifted within her. She realized that Lamya was never her competition or nemesis; those feelings had been concocted in her own mind, fueled by guilt for the past.

“Lamya, I never had the courage to say this before, and I think it's long overdue. I broke your headphones and threw them away. I was young, scared, and made a terrible decision at the time. But now it's time I apologize for it.

So many times, I have blamed you for holding a grudge for something I had done when we were kids. But it never occurred to me the part that I had played in the incident. Yes, I was young and scared of you, but even now, you have always intimidated me. However, that was never an excuse for not owning up to it.”

She saw Lamya’s shocked face, Haifa took a deep breath and continued, “I am very sorry for breaking it, and I hope you can forgive me for that one day. And I am very sorry I took this long to apologize for my wrongdoing.”

Lamya's face bore an unreadable look. Was she stunned or disgusted by Haifa's confession? Haifa couldn't tell. They stared at each other for a moment before Haifa turned to leave.

She was almost out of the door, "Thank you," she heard Lamya say before she closed the door behind her.

As she walked back home, Haifa felt a slight improvement in her spirits. She had destroyed so many relations in the past week, that it felt rejuvenating to have done some good. Saira had all but shut her out, and refused even to walk with her to work. Haifa couldn't blame her for the cold shoulder; she deserved the resentment. Despite this, she missed Saira, recognizing that she had become more than just family—she had been a close friend.

Upon reaching home in the stillness of the morning, Haifa held onto the hope of reconciling with Afa. With her ticket secured and bags packed for her imminent departure, Haifa had only a few days left. She hoped to utilize this time to extend an apology to someone else, perhaps mending a fraction of the damage she had caused.

Haifa found Afa sitting in her own room. Since the day she was informed that she was leaving, Afa had stopped talking to her or coming to her room unannounced. She had tried several times to get her to talk, but she kept on brushing her off. Haifa was hoping this time it would work.

Afa did not acknowledge her when she knocked or said her name. determined, Haifa walked inside and waited.

“So, you are really leaving?” she said without looking up from the drawing pad she was sketching on.

“Yes,” Haifa replied, sitting next to her on the floor.

Afa did not speak for a long time, so Haifa just sat next to her, watching her draw.

“Is it just so bad here? With us that you have to leave?” Afa asked finally.

“No, I love it here. You all have been wonderful.”

“Then why do you have to leave?” Afa's lip pouted.

“It's my home,”

“I really thought you would stay forever with us. I liked it with you here.”

Haifa looked at Afa, her eyes sincere and filled with care. “Listen to me, Afa. Your family loves you and cares a lot about you. You have a lifetime ahead of you to do all the grown-up things. This is the only time you get to be a kid, so enjoy that. Stop blaming them and stop wanting to do things you cannot do. Instead, make friends and do things kids enjoy.”

“I don’t like doing that.”

“Why don’t you give it a try? Instead of being angry for things you cannot do? Won't your mother worry less if she knew you were happy?”

“You are just saying all that because you want to leave.”

“Yes, I am, but I am also saying it because I love you too.”

“You don’t even know what that means. You wanted to leave before you even came here. You think we are not enough; you think being alone in there would make you happy?” She stood up angrily.

“Sometimes being alone is not so bad. And we all need to follow our dreams, even if we have to do it alone. It’s better than always wondering how it could have been,” Haifa said. “I don’t expect you to understand the reasons right now.”

“If you want to leave, just leave,” she said without looking at her.

Haifa stood up and hugged her, “I will visit soon, I promise,” she whispered to her.

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